In 2019, I reviewed Becoming by Michelle Obama. I was impressed with her candor and openness. Reading her book felt like an intimate conversation between friends. This month, I decided to review her new book, The Light We Carry. It does not disappoint.
In this book, Mrs. Obama focuses on the inner strength we all have and how to nurture that strength to be the kind of person we want to be. The kind of person who helps in times of need and shares in the joys of another person’s successes without envy or resentment. The kind of person who finds strength and holds onto hope when all seems lost.
She doesn’t attempt to solve all your problems. She’s quick to point out that everyone is different and even our shared experiences are unique to us. Mrs. Obama uses stories from her life and the lives of her family members and friends to illustrate the tools they have developed to deal with the good and bad aspects of life. The tools we select and how we use them are up to us. That’s empowering.
We might question the need for tools when everything is going our way, but maintaining perspective and gratitude for what we have are two of the most important life lessons we will ever learn. They will help prevent us and the people we love from developing a sense of entitlement.
Entitled people have limited coping skills and are less prepared to handle criticism. They do not value hard work, and don’t care about issues that do not affect them.
Communication and connection were encouraged by her parents. The Robinson children did not grow up in an environment where children should be seen and not heard. During dinner, the family shared news of the day and sometimes vented about situations they thought were beyond their control. By talking and listening to each other, they developed problem solving skills and critical thinking skills. When young Michelle complained about a teacher, Mrs. Robinson pointed out that Michell didn’t have to like her to learn the skills this teacher could teach her. It was up to Michelle to decide if learning them was more important than her dislike of this teacher.
After a guidance counselor told Michelle that despite her excellent grades and SAT scores she wasn’t Princeton material, she was angry and hurt. Her mother suggested she had two ways to handle the situation. She could give up and let this counselor continue to believe Black girls were not meant for Ivy League schools, or she could work harder to prove this woman wrong. If she succeeded, the door would be a little more open for all girls of color. It changed how Michelle handled being stereotyped. It helped when she was one of a few instead of one of the many on her campus and in the workforce.
When her husband Barack was elected president, it was a proud moment followed by eight years of accomplishments and criticisms. As First Lady, every outfit she wore, every facial gesture, every word she spoke, and every cause she championed was under a microscope. She was too tall, too muscular, too opinionated, and too angry. Every moment she wasn’t smiling the press was clicking photos and commenting on her anger. If they commented every time I didn’t smile, they would be drowning in volumes of newsprint and video. Lucky for me I’ll never be held to such high standards. I don’t have to smile while I’m considering my answers to important questions.
Her cause Let’s Move targeted childhood obesity and suddenly the people who complained about their kids eating junk food and playing video games instead of playing outside were outraged that Michelle Obama was daring to suggest kids should be more active and school lunches should be healthier. Instead of giving up, she made a point of visiting schools and talking to kids and nutritionists. During her years as First Lady, childhood obesity rates declined, but the push back from parents was harsh. How dare you tell me what to feed my child and how to raise my child? Her response was and still is (I’m paraphrasing here), “I care about your child and want them to grow up healthy and strong and without avoidable health problems later in life. You should too.”
Her wisdom and grace shine throughout the stories she chooses to share. It’s an inspiring holiday read, and a wonder guide for the coming year.
Other Books by Michelle Obama:
Becoming
Overcoming: A Workbook by Potter Gift and Michelle Obama
Image of Book Jacket taken from my copy of her book