December is always a busy month. There are Hanukkah and Christmas celebrations to plan, presents to buy, and decorations to put up, while life keeps getting in the way. We still have to go to work or school, pay our bills, clean our houses, and shop for groceries. The list seems stressful and unending.
As much as we complain about being busy, we need to stop and be grateful. Not everyone has the privilege of “doing/having it all” no matter how chaotic it may be. How can we use our gratitude to help others who are less fortunate? Our first step is to realize how close we are to becoming an “other” and be less judgmental and more empathetic to those in need.
Sometimes life interferes in seemingly unsurmountable ways.
There are those among us who will lose their jobs as companies cut costs in December to improve their bottom lines right before the fiscal year comes to a close. Discovering you are part of the “dead wood” being trimmed to start fresh in the new year can be devastating, especially if you’ve been a hard-working and devoted employee. Finding a new job with comparable benefits isn’t something you can easily add to your holiday list.
Do you have enough savings to last until you find a new job, or will you lose your car or your home? Will you become one of the unhoused?
In 2023, there were 653,104 people in the United States experiencing homelessness including 111,620 children. The majority of unhoused people in the U.S. were White males. Roughly 90% of this group were over the age of 24. In 2023, 60.5% of unhoused people were cisgender men, and 38.3% were cisgender women. Many unhoused people have jobs, but cannot afford housing. They live in their cars, homeless encampments, or shelters. Some even couch surf between friends or relatives homes. People experiencing homelessness have a life expectancy of 50 as compared to the life expectancy of 77 for the average American. Homelessness among veterans has been decreasing since 2010, but there is still work to be done to bring those numbers down further. Does this information differ with your perception of the homeless crisis or the media’s?
Are you one of the thousands of people whose homes were damaged or destroyed by a natural disaster this year? Did your repair costs and insurance rates soar?
Some of us or a member of our family may be injured in an accident or diagnosed with a serious illness. This may also happen to one of our pets. Believe me, it doesn’t take long for medical bills or veterinary bills to eat away at your savings.
For most people these are “other people’s” problems. We can feel better about ourselves by throwing a few dollars in Santa’s red bucket outside the grocery store or the mall, but is that enough?
We will never be able to help everyone or solve all the world’s problems, but we can be smart about our efforts and how we use our resources:
1. Try to live within your means. How close are you to becoming an “other?” People who are grateful for what they have spend less time and money trying to live beyond their means. They don’t need to risk their financial security to impress neighbors or coworkers. Be an example to your children. Teach them how to budget and prioritize needs over wants.
2. Support a living wage for every worker based on the cost of living not your perception of the value of their profession. In the 1950s and 60s, workers made enough money to raise a family and live with dignity without working two or three jobs or endless overtime.
3. Do your homework before you donate to any charity. How do the charities you support use the funds they receive? What is their overhead? How much do they pay their executives? How luxurious is their headquarters? Some reputable sites to check include Charity Watch, Charity Navigator, Forbes List of America’s Top 100 Charities, Gender Share, Better Business Bureau Accredited Charity, and Guide Star.
4. Try to give a percentage of the money you spend on Holiday gifts to a food bank or worthy charity. If you spend $500 on gifts, a $25 donation would be 5%; $50 = 10%; $100 = 20%: $125 = 25%; $175 = 35%. You get the idea. Aim for 5% or 10% and try to up it each year.
5. If money is tight, consider volunteering at a soup kitchen, food bank, or senior care facility. Help wrap presents donated to toy drives or help clean and decorate your church or synagogue for the holidays; read to the blind; volunteer to shovel an elderly or physically challenged neighbor’s drive and walkways; volunteer at an animal shelter or offer to babysit for a relative or friend. It’s a few hours of your time, but it might be priceless to someone in need.
6. Before you donate items to a charity, check to see if they will actually go to people in need. If they will be sold at a gift shop, how will that money be used to help those in need?
7. Donate gently used books, kitchen items, cleaning supplies, and toys to homeless shelters and shelters for women, men, and their children who are escaping abusive relationships. If you are surprised to see men listed, you should know that men who are victims of abuse seldom report it to the police because they are embarrassed and ashamed. They also need a safe place to go from their abusers.
8. Watch how your elected officials spend the holidays. Are they posing for a photo-op at a soup kitchen or are they actually helping out, speaking with, and listening to people in need? Will they gather with family at their table or entertain wealthy potential donors? Character makes a difference.
9. How will you treat the people working during the holidays? Will you smile and wait patiently in long lines or grumble and complain? Will you hold the door? Will you say please and thank you? Will you become belligerent if an item you want is out of stock or not on sale? This holiday is not exclusively yours. It belongs to everyone. Be respectful of their feelings and try to give them a reason to smile.
10. Pay attention to how your tax dollars are being spent at local state, and federal levels. I know the election is over, but the fight for fairness and representation for all is never-ending. Are billionaires receiving tax breaks while children are going hungry because they don’t have access to free breakfast and lunch at school? Studies show that providing breakfast and lunch at no cost increases school attendance and helps children concentrate and pay attention in class. Can seniors live with dignity? Do people have access to quality affordable healthcare without exclusions for pre-existing conditions? Are there programs in place to help displaced workers train for new jobs? Are governments trying to make housing more affordable?
If we are truly grateful for what we have, shouldn’t we want the same for everyone?
Happy holidays!
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