When I was in high school, my Sociology teacher said, “Never date someone you wouldn’t marry and never marry someone you wouldn’t date.”

I take exception to the first part of his advice. Sometimes you need to date different types of people to find the one who makes you happy, but I get what he’s saying on a certain level.

Don’t date someone who treats you like garbage just because they are handsome, beautiful, or popular.

Don’t date someone just for shock value, so you can stick it to your family or seem edgy to your friends. You might end up using that other person in a cruel way or you may find yourself trapped in a toxic or abusive relationship.

The second half of his advice is brilliant, but not as obvious as it should be. “Never marry someone you wouldn’t date.”

Sometimes we’re so comfortable in a relationship we forget about ourselves or the other person.

Having “In a relationship” as your status can become more important than being with a person who makes you happy.

It is important to set standards for a potential life partner, but are they realistic standards or Hollywood standards? It’s a slippery slope either way. Relationships are hard and even the best ones take work.

I was told many times, “If we have to work at this relationship, it’s not worth having.” It should have set off warning bells, instead, it made me think I had to accept everything my significant other did. I learned not to rock the boat by making any demands and I was miserable for many years.

Obviously, I don’t have all the answers, but communication is the key. Think and talk about what you want/need to be happy. Think about and listen to what your partner needs/wants to be happy as well. Spoiler alert – no matter what you do, you will not be blissfully happy 100% of the time. Every day will not seem like a honeymoon because eventually, you and/or your partner will burp, pass gas, be in a foul mood, forget an important event, or fall asleep at an inopportune time.

Now that I have you on the road to a “perfect” relationship, let’s talk about Valentine’s Day…

Valentine’s Day will probably be pretty-low-key this year. How can you do something romantic that doesn’t involve participating in a super-spreader event like a party or a fancy dinner out and a movie or dancing?

There’s always take out or delivery. It supports local restaurants in a safe way. You can make a meal together. If you’ve never cooked with your partner, now is the perfect time to give it a try. Yes, you can be in the kitchen, together, with knives and boiling pots of water when you love someone. Find the fun again. Reignite that spark and begin again. Communicate, communicate, and communicate some more. Talk about the things that made your relationship special. Cook together – even if one of you is terrible in the kitchen. Take the time to appreciate being together. Food always tastes better when eating is a shared experience.

Put on some romantic music and dance, even if you have two left feet. Your partner will appreciate the effort you are making, and you should appreciate the effort they are making.

Get dressed up for no other reason than you want to look good for each other. Take a selfie together. Turn the lights down low and snuggle. If you have a heated garage, go make out in the car. DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT Start the car in a closed garage or run down your battery – listen to tunes on your phone and don’t open the garage door and give the neighbors a free show!

If you have kids, do some special things with them. Have a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt around the house or on Zoom/Facetime/Google with their friends. Help them make paper hearts and flowers to decorate your windows, so the people passing by can share a little of your Valentine’s Day cheer.

Talk about love, read about love, and share the love. It’s been a cruel year, but love will win in the end.